Red Wainhouse Death Watch, Day 1

The rotting corpse of Red Wainhouse finally made its way back to the mound for the 12/4 p.m. sim. Wainhouse sat out the first quarter of the season with a very bad case of Osteoporosis and possibly an enlarged prostate. Wainhouse is seeking a second opinion on that one, but rumor has it that he just wants another hand in there where the sun doesn't shine. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we did overhear his new teammates saying that maybe he should be called "Pink" now.

After much calcium therapy, Wainhouse was far from respectable in his Jayhawk debut. He was a shadow of his very old self in vulturing a win from Gabe Thompson. Red was tagged for 6 hits in 4 innings, including 3 doubles and 2 runs. It would have been worse, but Clay Gibbons made an outstanding play on a Fritz Rushford screamer down that line. The rocket would have been yet another double; Wainhouse also picked a runner off in that inning, but still managed to give up a run.

Wainhouse never threw hard, but his slider doesn't break like it used to, and his change up is looking more and more like his mediocre fastball. He's also having trouble spotting his pitches like he used to. He only gave up one walk, but that was because they were lighting him up before he had a chance to throw 4 balls on most occasions.

All told, Wainhouse made the average Grey look like a .353/.389/.529 hitter on Thursday night. This on the heels of a 1-4, 4.87 ERA post-season that saw him give up 5 HR in season 8. He's got about $15 million coming from the Jayhawks over the next two years, so other than his time on the DL, they'll roll him out there in a wheel chair once it becomes necessary.

The next start on the death march will be his home debut in a Jayhawk uniform against Sioux Falls Saturday, assuming his decrepit, rotting corpse is up for the task of starting by then.